paper aeroplane

[methrowrock]

I thought that signing up for everything would mean a change in the direction of my life. There was nothing to lose. I was taking the initiative, I was making the best out of everything, I was grabbing every opportunity. I would finally know the direction I am heading in for once- to where, by what means, with which friends and how long. Instead, I am left more confused than ever. I have no clue, I have no plans, I have no idea. Everything is just one big mess of expectations, deadlines and stufftodo. And I am hopelessly submerged, drowning in the swamp of PW, council elections, homework, revision and soccer. Can't everything just stop for a short while? But nope, there are no such convenient time-outs in life. I desperately need some time to scream it all out. The pressure is building and something has to give. Well sang, KT Tunstall. But man, who am I kidding? It's not that stressful and hectic. It's just me and my fatal undoing of bad time management and instinct to escape once put under pressure. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am going to be the source of my downfall, some day.

I apologise for the deluge of the word "I" in this post. Horribly self-centred and shallow, I know. :/ Enrichment Week so far has been a terrible waste of time.

Photographs without people seem to be so much more beautiful. Cat Power has a hauntingly lovely voice.



Gaaaaah, all I want to do is run far far away, hide in the base of a tree hollow and fall flumpthump onto the furry belly of Totoro who has a grin like :D and who makes everything more magical and less ordinaryjoeblues.

Comments

[crystalfiery.livejournal.com]

I thought that signing up for everything would mean a change in the direction of my life.

I really understand what you're going through. D: Except for me, its WANTING to sign up, but in the end slacking around at home and not going with what I think I should be going. BUT I know you can do it! :D Haha, you'll pull through it!

[methrowrock.livejournal.com]

Hahaha thank you! Phew, campaigning week is halfway over. That will settle some things at least.

You! Don't slack anymore! Find someone to sign up with things for you. That's what I did but maybe I overdid it. :/