fast lane to failure

[methrowrock]

I really ought to buckle down and bury my face in a book. It is the last week of school already and I have tons of revision to do. Yet somehow, when I even manage to settle myself down in front of my desk, otherthingstodo springs up from unknown corners of my mind. Go eat! Go watch tv! Go check facebook! Go read fictionpress! Yes, the most banal and childish of things yet, these commands have an intangible hold over my actions. I find myself obeying them mindlessly and the time flies past, until the moon emerges and shines high and bright. And there, a whole day wasted away, which leaves me thoroughly disgusted with myself and thus, to calm myself down, I sleep the night away. It's a vicious cycle, really. The world of studying, mugging and stress seems too removed for me to panic and worry about failing. Oh those days of 8-hour study days and diligent note-making, have 8 months really flitted past like that? I can't seem to get serious, no matter what I do. It seems as if these typical academic burdens have nothing to do with me. I'm merely an observer. Nothing can touch me. Maybe the Os have made me complacent. As in 2, 3 months of cramming has allowed me to scrape by reasonably well, hence, the mistaken conclusion that if I do the same for As, the outcome would be the same and I can afford to study... later. But wrong, wrong, wrong! It's a different ballgame altogether- I know, I heard. All I'm doing is careening down the highway of failure, with seat-belt unstrapped and eyes closed tightly. I'm afraid I won't survive. And it seems now that I'm sure as hell not doing anything to stop it.

被雨困住的城市 有你 弹着吉他陪我
被雨困住的城市 有歌 混着雨声降落
被雨困住的城市 有我 像只金鱼游动
看看我 看着你的眼眸

If things were only that simple.

Comments

HELLO my dear friend/science partner!

[jarsblink.livejournal.com]

Hey audrey! I have not read your journal in ages. :) Haha maybe cos I rarely lj anymore. Anyway just wanna say I understand how you feel and going through crap right now for CTs. All the best! Push forth :)

Re: HELLO my dear friend/science partner!

[methrowrock.livejournal.com]

thank you! :)