balmy breezes blow

[methrowrock]

i secretly want to live in capital letters, but inherent in that desire, is the tussle between being loud and being quiet. i want to be both, if that is possible. but the way that capital letters look on the screen is so beautiful and so spontaneous and so engaging, that i cannot help myself, but to be drawn to the liveliness pulsating from the right angles and bold curves. how it says so much with so little; it is as if people have found a way to shout into the limitless cyberspace, that, like the real scary universe with fizzing nebulae and whizzing asteroids, expands exponentially every single second. (i am overusing the term "so" here, i am so sorry hahaha.) there is something heartwarming and endearing to see an exchange of capital lettered accusations and sharp insults tossed back and forth with zinging zest. it speaks (or shouts) of familiarity, camaraderie and brash affection that one cannot work hard at, but just possesses. it amplifies confidence: how it commands and revels unabashedly in attention from others, like iamspeakingnow-HEAR-ME-ROAR (inspiration from a doctor lim who roared via a facebook hijack recently haha). but mostly, it is the scruffy ragmuffin air i like about it: how they present an unkempt and uncomplicated view of situations. things are laid out in large, striking font; no-thing is hidden, yes-thing is jostling for retina space; it is take-it-or-leave-it. it is absolute and it stands by the meaning that it conveys without a shred of doubt.

but remember the tussle? yes, that still exists,- even though i love capital letters so much- because i am simply not as audacious and dauntless as it is. kind of ironic how i am typing all of this down in small letters. that's what it does right?: portray the stream-of-consciousness style, how all of this is talky and faux-literature because of the small letters, grammar and punctuation all strewn askew and sentences that never seem to end, until it does. suddenly. then comes short sentences to jazz things up a little. hahaha. i think this is the effect of being awake in the middle of the night, fingers freezing, with the whole world in sweet slumber around me. new media lectures have been getting to me. how much am i willing to reveal over the internet; where will the line be drawn? this made me think about this journal over here. is it weird that i want a few people to know everything about me, some people to know something about me, and from that something, want to know everything about me, and everyone else to know next to nothing about me? hahaha. in essence, it is all about me, isn't it? ho ho ho, i am certainly a fine product of the narcissistic "digital native" generation. sigh, thought i was more than that (again, 'me' alert!) and that was what i was afraid capital letters would do: turn all signs into blinking billboards of my intentions, my feelings and my actions. i m sekretly n eentroverted, senteemental soul, who cares so much more about other people than you can ever imagine. whatever it is, i should stop talking about myself. not usually this psychotic-sounding. ella fitzgerald has a lovely, soulful voice. watching mad men never fails to make me want to learn swing, dye my hair auburn, don a swishy taffeta skirt and nibble on swirly treacle scones while listening to summery jazz. lalala~ lecture in five hours, tutorial in seven, and i have done readings for neither. bloody brilliant! :)


because an irrelevant!Jay animation is always relevant.