![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
methrowrockRecess week began last Wednesday evening for me, but to date, I have only gone through four readings. My ability to do nothing continues to amaze me. In essence, it has been a wonderful week, curling up at home, with my trusty (and crusty hurrhurr) laptop and the skies grey and notsoblue. I could do well as recluse, or a hikikomori. The last time I stepped out of my house was on... Monday afternoon? Hahaha, but how could I leave when Sungkyungkwan Scandal, with its panoramic cinematography, stirring music and I save the best for last- JALGEUM QUARTET-, was waiting for me online. Even though there were streaming difficulties, ie forever side-eyeing Dailymotion and its instability, it was a wonderful twenty-odd hours agonising over, cheering for, and giggling at the trials and tribulations of four teenagers in the Joseon era. Add the classic cross-dresser in an all-male boarding school, three (THREE!) cute/adorable/swoon-worthy male leads to the mix, and you got a potent potion, enough to knock any cynical and world-weary fangirl off her feet clad in winged Jeremy Scott sneakers. It was a good drama, though an even better one when one is supplemented with the forward button. Every time scheming!parents or bumbling!officials appeared onscreen, one knew that Shit was embarking on a serpentine path to meet Fan, so the impatient one could conveniently fast-forward to see implosion of fecal matter in all its speckled glory. What made the series stand out were the characters and their growth throughout the series. Because I am on the run from readings, and because facebook has long ceased to be interesting, I shall indulge myself in a pointless prattle about Sungkyunkwan Scandal. Yay. Oh, I am so exhausted by the exciting happenings in my life!
The easiest transformation to chart would be that of Lee Sun-joon. In the beginning, he was a cold, calculative and intimidating prat, who cared for nothing, but his principles, morals and rules. Then, over the episodes, as he opened his heart to friendship and love, he began to see the world in shades of grey. The defining moment, for me, was when he grasped Kim Yoon-shik's wrists tightly and told her to step outside her prescribed social status and take the leap. That marked his full transformation from one who accepted and followed, to one that challenged and dared. I liked how his idealism played off against Yoon-shik's character, who have been through hardship and grinding poverty. It is not that she is disillusioned with the world; it is just that the world cannot be a painting without shadows, without nuances. His upbringing had been privileged, and though well-educated, analects and teachings cannot fully describe the conditions that less well-off citizens are living with. Getting to SKK was an opportunity to expose him to the myriad of lifestyles there were outside, and he really grew over the series by becoming smaller. Not in physical stature, but in terms of attitude- humbler and more aware/considerate of other people. And that was the best part of his relationship with Yoon-shik. They helped each other to grow. Reading the recap on dramabeans, that was what caught my eye: that they completed each other.
Yoon-shik was one of the few female characters that I really liked. There was scarcely a moment where I grew frustrated with her. She always had her heart in the right place, and intentions in the right direction. What I liked most about her was the frankness in which she approached things and people. She followed through with her intentions, eliminating the frustrating WHY-U-NO-SAY-ANYTHANG angst prevalent in kdramas. (But of course, there was a repetition of the irritating plot device: EAVESDROPPERS) Her fevour, her passionate beliefs about a right/desire for knowledge, her loyalty, all the qualities were very admirable. And it was fun rooting for her and her wide-eyed earnestness. A solid character, who livened things up with her adorable, bubbly grins.
Now, we shall move on to my FAVOURITE characters: Moon Jae-shin and Goo Yong-ha. Who could have gone through twenty episodes without sighing once for the heartbreak that was Jae-shin?! Every episode, I sat behind the monitor and clutched at my heart as he with the raggedy cloak, unkempt wavy hair and manly mustache swaggered onscreen. I loved his character so much. Not just because of his sincere eyes (large, innocent and single-lidded), crafted cheekbones, plump lips and husky voice hahaha, but because he who seemed so worldly-wise and knowledgeable in the beginning had the most to grow among the four of them. His charisma and notoriety disguised his helplessness and confusion, as he stewed in hatred of his father, anger at the world, and childish thirst for revenge. What was extremely interesting was why he chose to be an outsider in a world where everybody jostled to be an insider to, especially when he could leverage on that to exact justice on his brother's murderer. By exiling himself and raging at the world, it showed the childlike (and amateurish?) mindset that he possessed. He thought by being apart from the rest, whose preference for status quo indirectly contributed to the quickly-shushed murder of Young-shin, he could somehow find a way to make them all pay. Yoo Ah In expressed this best himself in an interview with 10Asia. "The part of Jae-shin I felt was most childlike was his clumsiness at expressing himself and his confusion about what to do about his feelings. He is too idealistic and trapped within himself, thinking, 'Nobody hurts more than I do. Nobody has a harder time than I do. My pain is the worst there is,' but ironically when people feel that kind of sadness or pain, they feel superior." In this way, he mistakenly thought that he could hurt others as well as torment himself, which he held as a trophy, a testament to how much he loved his brother and cherished his legacy.
Over the series, as he started to envelop the people around him in his embrace, he began to come to terms with his brother's death. Which led to the tension-fraught scene in the storage room with his father. Wanting to save somebody else from injustice, even if an injustice has been done to you, digging out a raw and choked apology to his father as he finally communicated his innermost feelings to the one person he had misunderstood all along. That is the hardest part, to bow your head down to somebody whom you have wronged all this time. It is not rage or pride that makes it hard; it is the gnawing guilt and shame that you have doubted the person (and for so long, so intense!), that you were blind and refused to acknowledge it, that your heart was so putrid and narrow. What more when that person is your father, the one who poured years' and years' of emotion and money to raising you, only for you to turn his investment into toxic resentment that shriveled his flesh like acid. I can feel my heart twisting at the memory of that scene.
Of course, there were more tender aspects to his character. Any fangirl worth her salt will be stricken with the Second Lead Syndrome, which involves nosebleeds at shy secret smiles and blackouts induced by Noble Acts of Protection. Sending Yoon-shik ahead to meet Sun-joon alone with a lingering wry quirk of his lips, swooping in with a towel (You're Beautiful reference?) to divert suspicions, jumping in front with armed guards to stall for time, THIS KIND OF GUY, WHERE TO FIND!?! Hahahhaa. I really love how his character slowly loosened up with the presence of the other three. :D And his friendship with Yong-ha, awww, that makes flowers bloom in one's heart.
Moving on to my idol, my role model: Goo Yong-ha. Oh, my heart is bursting at its seams from affection for him. Flirtatious, flamboyant, flippant, yet so insecure and self-doubting at the same time. His ssanti winks, his brilliant sunshine grins, his petulant pouts and playful air-kisses, his campy twirls around campus, his embroidered fans that are perfectly co-ordinated with his luxurious silky drapes, his brazen manhandling of Jae-shin EVERY TIME (slash galore!), his singsong lilt: everything about him is larger than life. It seems as if he is over-compensating for his joongin background, but he does it so naturally and is so winsome while at it. After all, he is THE Goo Yong-ha. He really is the glue that holds the quartet together, knowing exactly what to say to pacify or prod each of them, always with a few tricks up his sleeve. One can never guess what exactly he is up to, and yet, the actions of everybody else is transparent to him. The mastermind, the puppet-master, the godfather hahaha. But he isn't without flaws, the most prominent being his perpetual status as an observer. Afraid to fight, afraid to lose. But that is borne from his family environment, the merchant class. With fluid alliances and loyalties, what matters most is money. Who cares who wins or who loses, everybody still gotta eat so let's be the one to sell rice to them. Pragmatic and practical, save your own skin first, why bother about other people's business. Which complements his personality very well: flitting here and there, manipulating events but never being directly affected by its consequences, always having the upper-hand in terms of information and observation. I think that is something that he loves most, and detests most, about himself. The need or conditioned compulsion for attention, information, and affection from others, that are given based on his frivolity and fun reputation, to maintain connections and continue his material prosperity. The insincerity of his relationships with others and the insignificance of his role to the family business. He is just a tool to an end, and we all know that he wants to be so much more than that.
Living as a merchant class among elites at SKK must have been nerve-wracking on him. Everyday, he lives under the paper-thin pretense of being a flashy noble-born to continue to receive the superficial attention and affection that he needs, and he himself grew to crave, to sustain his lifestyle. The flashes of insecurity and mental/emotional fragility after Ha In-soo threatened to divulge his history exposed his raging inner demons. To sit on the fence and reap the fruits on both hedges or to plant his foot firmly in one plot and get his hands dirty to grow his own harvest. Episode 19 was a turning point for him, as he finally surmounted his turmoil and decided to jump into the thick of things. So proud of him!! Another aspect that I love about Yong-ha is his undying allegiance to JAE-SHIN! OTP comin' thru~ Despite the hollow relations that he has forged with others, there is one relationship that he cherishes with all his heart, that is his 10-year friendship with Jae-shin. It is the one thing that keeps him grounded and true. Seeing them together throws me into a tizzy. Yong-ha's endless cajoling and touchy whines and Jae-shin's seemingly-rough brushing off and shut down of his enthusiasm. The most touching scene was when Yong-ha tried to hold Jae-shin back, only to rebuffed by him with a searing "Living isn't interesting anymore" (or something along that line) Oh, you could see Yong-ha's heart being torn to shreds as tears pooled up and wobbled beneath his eyelids. The terse, throaty whisper after, oh, this was Yong-ha at his rawest and most genuine. In every interaction with Jae-shin, you see small actions that demonstrate how much he cares for Jae-shin. Heartwarming, I tell ya.
Okay, enough talk about the characters and the series in general. My favourite quote has got to be that of the compass. "The needle that always wavers is pointing in the right direction" That was inspirational, to say the least. Okay, I have typed long enough. This should be enough to tide over the withdrawal symptoms. I went nuts this afternoon, burning through videos of SKKS NGs, combing through Yoo Ah In and Song Joong-ki articles on omona. And I really like how the former thinks. This 10Asia interview made me reflect on how I was living my life. And well, I will put in more effort from now on.
10Asia: Are you saying that even though it's hard to fully be yourself, you want to keep trying to check that [you are being true to yourself]?
Yoo Ah In: Yes, and it's not just about writing, but also the act of just living in your twenties. In truth, I very much want to live a peaceful life. I want to be comfortable, and I obviously have thoughts like 'it would be nice if I could smile prettily and make money and live,' but I try to continually break away from those things and force myself to be a person in his twenties. I am a person who suffered from maturing early, and I learned the basic rules for skating by in life, but I have to throw those things away. I have fallen into the dilemma of being too realistic but not being able to stay in reality. Because what the world says is maturity is seeking the answers and stopping there, protecting what you have, and continuing to do things the same way; but to me, this is immaturity. I think that true maturity is endlessly looking for answers and pressing forward, and sometimes failing. So I wish the word 'youth' was used differently. When people sigh and say, "He's still in his youth," what they mean is "That's what an young [immature] kid is." I wish the word 'youth' would be used to describe not an immature and childish kid who is only full of passion and idealism, but instead a young person who is truly mature and living the right way.
10Asia: What did you dislike so much [about school]?
Yoo Ah In: Because it is full of things that [shouldn't be] so certain. Even though I hadn't had any choice in any of the things that happened to me, everything happened as if it was so obvious [that it should be that way]. Of course, it's mandatory to get an education so my mother sent me to school, and if she hadn't that would have been a whole other thing. (Laughter) But I don't think schools teach their students how to think or reason at all. [T/N: Keep in mind YAI is only talking about the Korean school system, which may be very different from that of your own country]. I also think about this when I write. If the writings on my mini-hompy are first and foremost for myself, then my Twitter is first and foremost for mutual communication. But I don't write [on my mini-hompy and Twitter] in order to search for the right answer. Even if I was searching for the 'right answer,' I don't think it's something that people should wish was easy to find [or understand]. I wish people wouldn't glance at a piece of writing that is about somebody's life and, without even five minutes of thought, write "It's hard. I don't get it. Please explain it simply." Would it be interesting if you could see the answer immediately? Words may be easy to write down and share with others, but that doesn't mean they are trivial. So if you are somebody who has come to take an interest in me and has taken the trouble to find [my mini-hompy or Twitter,] I would like it if, rather than easily finding the answer and arriving at a conclusion, you were able to find your own [personal] answer through my writings. Because the most important individual to every person is him or herself.
Original Source: 10Asia
Translations: Jaeshinah @ Soompi
Okay, time to start on some readings now! Why is 1500 words so easy to hit when you're not writing essays for school? Sometimes I wish that there was a Cultural Studies major that I could do. My mind is primed for commercialism, for masked frivolity (okay, maybe real), not for weighty issues like, do democracies contribute to peace? Then, I read Yoo Ah In's interview and I am inspired to work hard, because nothing comes easy. It is the struggle that is delectable, that makes one feel alive. Who doesn't want things to be relaxing? But would skating through life make me happy? Sigh. Nearing twenty, but still as clueless as ever. What I know, however, is that information/knowledge is powerful. The selectivity of revelation, the timing, the manipulation, the framing: all of it can make and shake events. That is what I'm highly interested in. But what would that make me? Hmmm... listening to "Kiss and Tell" by The Black Skirts isn't really helping, because I feel like bopping my head and dancing around. And that... is exactly what I will do now. Bye!
The easiest transformation to chart would be that of Lee Sun-joon. In the beginning, he was a cold, calculative and intimidating prat, who cared for nothing, but his principles, morals and rules. Then, over the episodes, as he opened his heart to friendship and love, he began to see the world in shades of grey. The defining moment, for me, was when he grasped Kim Yoon-shik's wrists tightly and told her to step outside her prescribed social status and take the leap. That marked his full transformation from one who accepted and followed, to one that challenged and dared. I liked how his idealism played off against Yoon-shik's character, who have been through hardship and grinding poverty. It is not that she is disillusioned with the world; it is just that the world cannot be a painting without shadows, without nuances. His upbringing had been privileged, and though well-educated, analects and teachings cannot fully describe the conditions that less well-off citizens are living with. Getting to SKK was an opportunity to expose him to the myriad of lifestyles there were outside, and he really grew over the series by becoming smaller. Not in physical stature, but in terms of attitude- humbler and more aware/considerate of other people. And that was the best part of his relationship with Yoon-shik. They helped each other to grow. Reading the recap on dramabeans, that was what caught my eye: that they completed each other.
Yoon-shik was one of the few female characters that I really liked. There was scarcely a moment where I grew frustrated with her. She always had her heart in the right place, and intentions in the right direction. What I liked most about her was the frankness in which she approached things and people. She followed through with her intentions, eliminating the frustrating WHY-U-NO-SAY-ANYTHANG angst prevalent in kdramas. (But of course, there was a repetition of the irritating plot device: EAVESDROPPERS) Her fevour, her passionate beliefs about a right/desire for knowledge, her loyalty, all the qualities were very admirable. And it was fun rooting for her and her wide-eyed earnestness. A solid character, who livened things up with her adorable, bubbly grins.
Now, we shall move on to my FAVOURITE characters: Moon Jae-shin and Goo Yong-ha. Who could have gone through twenty episodes without sighing once for the heartbreak that was Jae-shin?! Every episode, I sat behind the monitor and clutched at my heart as he with the raggedy cloak, unkempt wavy hair and manly mustache swaggered onscreen. I loved his character so much. Not just because of his sincere eyes (large, innocent and single-lidded), crafted cheekbones, plump lips and husky voice hahaha, but because he who seemed so worldly-wise and knowledgeable in the beginning had the most to grow among the four of them. His charisma and notoriety disguised his helplessness and confusion, as he stewed in hatred of his father, anger at the world, and childish thirst for revenge. What was extremely interesting was why he chose to be an outsider in a world where everybody jostled to be an insider to, especially when he could leverage on that to exact justice on his brother's murderer. By exiling himself and raging at the world, it showed the childlike (and amateurish?) mindset that he possessed. He thought by being apart from the rest, whose preference for status quo indirectly contributed to the quickly-shushed murder of Young-shin, he could somehow find a way to make them all pay. Yoo Ah In expressed this best himself in an interview with 10Asia. "The part of Jae-shin I felt was most childlike was his clumsiness at expressing himself and his confusion about what to do about his feelings. He is too idealistic and trapped within himself, thinking, 'Nobody hurts more than I do. Nobody has a harder time than I do. My pain is the worst there is,' but ironically when people feel that kind of sadness or pain, they feel superior." In this way, he mistakenly thought that he could hurt others as well as torment himself, which he held as a trophy, a testament to how much he loved his brother and cherished his legacy.
Over the series, as he started to envelop the people around him in his embrace, he began to come to terms with his brother's death. Which led to the tension-fraught scene in the storage room with his father. Wanting to save somebody else from injustice, even if an injustice has been done to you, digging out a raw and choked apology to his father as he finally communicated his innermost feelings to the one person he had misunderstood all along. That is the hardest part, to bow your head down to somebody whom you have wronged all this time. It is not rage or pride that makes it hard; it is the gnawing guilt and shame that you have doubted the person (and for so long, so intense!), that you were blind and refused to acknowledge it, that your heart was so putrid and narrow. What more when that person is your father, the one who poured years' and years' of emotion and money to raising you, only for you to turn his investment into toxic resentment that shriveled his flesh like acid. I can feel my heart twisting at the memory of that scene.
Of course, there were more tender aspects to his character. Any fangirl worth her salt will be stricken with the Second Lead Syndrome, which involves nosebleeds at shy secret smiles and blackouts induced by Noble Acts of Protection. Sending Yoon-shik ahead to meet Sun-joon alone with a lingering wry quirk of his lips, swooping in with a towel (You're Beautiful reference?) to divert suspicions, jumping in front with armed guards to stall for time, THIS KIND OF GUY, WHERE TO FIND!?! Hahahhaa. I really love how his character slowly loosened up with the presence of the other three. :D And his friendship with Yong-ha, awww, that makes flowers bloom in one's heart.
Moving on to my idol, my role model: Goo Yong-ha. Oh, my heart is bursting at its seams from affection for him. Flirtatious, flamboyant, flippant, yet so insecure and self-doubting at the same time. His ssanti winks, his brilliant sunshine grins, his petulant pouts and playful air-kisses, his campy twirls around campus, his embroidered fans that are perfectly co-ordinated with his luxurious silky drapes, his brazen manhandling of Jae-shin EVERY TIME (slash galore!), his singsong lilt: everything about him is larger than life. It seems as if he is over-compensating for his joongin background, but he does it so naturally and is so winsome while at it. After all, he is THE Goo Yong-ha. He really is the glue that holds the quartet together, knowing exactly what to say to pacify or prod each of them, always with a few tricks up his sleeve. One can never guess what exactly he is up to, and yet, the actions of everybody else is transparent to him. The mastermind, the puppet-master, the godfather hahaha. But he isn't without flaws, the most prominent being his perpetual status as an observer. Afraid to fight, afraid to lose. But that is borne from his family environment, the merchant class. With fluid alliances and loyalties, what matters most is money. Who cares who wins or who loses, everybody still gotta eat so let's be the one to sell rice to them. Pragmatic and practical, save your own skin first, why bother about other people's business. Which complements his personality very well: flitting here and there, manipulating events but never being directly affected by its consequences, always having the upper-hand in terms of information and observation. I think that is something that he loves most, and detests most, about himself. The need or conditioned compulsion for attention, information, and affection from others, that are given based on his frivolity and fun reputation, to maintain connections and continue his material prosperity. The insincerity of his relationships with others and the insignificance of his role to the family business. He is just a tool to an end, and we all know that he wants to be so much more than that.
Living as a merchant class among elites at SKK must have been nerve-wracking on him. Everyday, he lives under the paper-thin pretense of being a flashy noble-born to continue to receive the superficial attention and affection that he needs, and he himself grew to crave, to sustain his lifestyle. The flashes of insecurity and mental/emotional fragility after Ha In-soo threatened to divulge his history exposed his raging inner demons. To sit on the fence and reap the fruits on both hedges or to plant his foot firmly in one plot and get his hands dirty to grow his own harvest. Episode 19 was a turning point for him, as he finally surmounted his turmoil and decided to jump into the thick of things. So proud of him!! Another aspect that I love about Yong-ha is his undying allegiance to JAE-SHIN! OTP comin' thru~ Despite the hollow relations that he has forged with others, there is one relationship that he cherishes with all his heart, that is his 10-year friendship with Jae-shin. It is the one thing that keeps him grounded and true. Seeing them together throws me into a tizzy. Yong-ha's endless cajoling and touchy whines and Jae-shin's seemingly-rough brushing off and shut down of his enthusiasm. The most touching scene was when Yong-ha tried to hold Jae-shin back, only to rebuffed by him with a searing "Living isn't interesting anymore" (or something along that line) Oh, you could see Yong-ha's heart being torn to shreds as tears pooled up and wobbled beneath his eyelids. The terse, throaty whisper after, oh, this was Yong-ha at his rawest and most genuine. In every interaction with Jae-shin, you see small actions that demonstrate how much he cares for Jae-shin. Heartwarming, I tell ya.
Okay, enough talk about the characters and the series in general. My favourite quote has got to be that of the compass. "The needle that always wavers is pointing in the right direction" That was inspirational, to say the least. Okay, I have typed long enough. This should be enough to tide over the withdrawal symptoms. I went nuts this afternoon, burning through videos of SKKS NGs, combing through Yoo Ah In and Song Joong-ki articles on omona. And I really like how the former thinks. This 10Asia interview made me reflect on how I was living my life. And well, I will put in more effort from now on.
10Asia: Are you saying that even though it's hard to fully be yourself, you want to keep trying to check that [you are being true to yourself]?
Yoo Ah In: Yes, and it's not just about writing, but also the act of just living in your twenties. In truth, I very much want to live a peaceful life. I want to be comfortable, and I obviously have thoughts like 'it would be nice if I could smile prettily and make money and live,' but I try to continually break away from those things and force myself to be a person in his twenties. I am a person who suffered from maturing early, and I learned the basic rules for skating by in life, but I have to throw those things away. I have fallen into the dilemma of being too realistic but not being able to stay in reality. Because what the world says is maturity is seeking the answers and stopping there, protecting what you have, and continuing to do things the same way; but to me, this is immaturity. I think that true maturity is endlessly looking for answers and pressing forward, and sometimes failing. So I wish the word 'youth' was used differently. When people sigh and say, "He's still in his youth," what they mean is "That's what an young [immature] kid is." I wish the word 'youth' would be used to describe not an immature and childish kid who is only full of passion and idealism, but instead a young person who is truly mature and living the right way.
10Asia: What did you dislike so much [about school]?
Yoo Ah In: Because it is full of things that [shouldn't be] so certain. Even though I hadn't had any choice in any of the things that happened to me, everything happened as if it was so obvious [that it should be that way]. Of course, it's mandatory to get an education so my mother sent me to school, and if she hadn't that would have been a whole other thing. (Laughter) But I don't think schools teach their students how to think or reason at all. [T/N: Keep in mind YAI is only talking about the Korean school system, which may be very different from that of your own country]. I also think about this when I write. If the writings on my mini-hompy are first and foremost for myself, then my Twitter is first and foremost for mutual communication. But I don't write [on my mini-hompy and Twitter] in order to search for the right answer. Even if I was searching for the 'right answer,' I don't think it's something that people should wish was easy to find [or understand]. I wish people wouldn't glance at a piece of writing that is about somebody's life and, without even five minutes of thought, write "It's hard. I don't get it. Please explain it simply." Would it be interesting if you could see the answer immediately? Words may be easy to write down and share with others, but that doesn't mean they are trivial. So if you are somebody who has come to take an interest in me and has taken the trouble to find [my mini-hompy or Twitter,] I would like it if, rather than easily finding the answer and arriving at a conclusion, you were able to find your own [personal] answer through my writings. Because the most important individual to every person is him or herself.
Original Source: 10Asia
Translations: Jaeshinah @ Soompi
Okay, time to start on some readings now! Why is 1500 words so easy to hit when you're not writing essays for school? Sometimes I wish that there was a Cultural Studies major that I could do. My mind is primed for commercialism, for masked frivolity (okay, maybe real), not for weighty issues like, do democracies contribute to peace? Then, I read Yoo Ah In's interview and I am inspired to work hard, because nothing comes easy. It is the struggle that is delectable, that makes one feel alive. Who doesn't want things to be relaxing? But would skating through life make me happy? Sigh. Nearing twenty, but still as clueless as ever. What I know, however, is that information/knowledge is powerful. The selectivity of revelation, the timing, the manipulation, the framing: all of it can make and shake events. That is what I'm highly interested in. But what would that make me? Hmmm... listening to "Kiss and Tell" by The Black Skirts isn't really helping, because I feel like bopping my head and dancing around. And that... is exactly what I will do now. Bye!
