ship of dreams

[methrowrock]

I have two papers due on Monday, both of which I have not started any research on. Panic should be engulfing me some time soon, but right now, things are collected and cool. Because when Monday rolls around, I will have those two essays out, by hook or by crook. It is only a matter of how much sleep I get, or the eventual grade. It is four weeks till three months of timetimetime. As much as I grumble about the truckloads of readings or mountains of assignments, school is rather interesting. But after being buried with the opinions and thoughts of others, I am afraid that I have lost my own voice. Okay, maybe it is the after-effect of numbing myself with superficial korean pop and an endless stream of shows, but I miss the spark that illuminated everything with a joyous glow. The feeling of eureka! It was so easy to find the motivation I needed last semester. What has gone wrong this time? I just provided the answer, but I am too cowardly to make the changes I need. Because if, or when, all goes wrong, what else would I have to blame?