holding onto the seams
Sep. 4th, 2011 07:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
methrowrockThe semester is well under progress. Readings, projects, response papers, and essays are creeping up on the horizon. Always looming, but for now, we pretend to be ships lost in the fog, unaware and unconcerned. Revelry continues, until that sudden lurch, that sickening crunch when the hull meets the crags. Same old trajectories for the tales of shipwrecks. But there had been gems of days. The barnacle-covered chests of two-hundred-year-old wines. Some memories age well with time. And hahaha, unable to milk the ship analogy any further. Bah.
So continuing my banal narration of days... 22 August, Monday. Met Trudy for lunch at UTown. Good to see her and catch up after so long. Of Poongho, Resonance, and complaints about Economics haha. 2101 lecture after, and then, training, where we did ten sets of Uncle Sam's fearsome circuits. Went crazy from sheer exhaustion, with fistbumps, titanics, and 'drunken' antics haha. My thigh muscles refused to acknowledge my existence for the next few days. It was a torment walking around on Tuesday, and not to mention, climbing up and down the numerous staircases around Arts. :O What was more, it was a full tutorial day. 2101, then 2212 where the tutor gave us time to go 'deviant'ing. Pulled a dustbin to the middle of Deck, sat in a circle, and appeared to worship it. In other words, attracted much attention and embarrassment from others and ex-friends hahaha. Met Melins at UTown afterwards, to 'study'. The Commons Room was such a conducive area for discreet chilling haha. Went to celebrate Hubae's birthday at the grasspatch beside Starbucks later. Marcus came after his lecture with his hair cut like a plate hAHA, and the three of us went for Tembusu dinner. Their dining hall had a Hogwartian atmosphere, how fun! Jeff came after, and the four of us went to the Commons Room to 'study' once again. It was so funnyyyyy. What with impromptu and (not) well-received lectures on money-creation/philosophy of math, abstract drawings on the board, reading aloud in different languages, BIBIMBAP!, feeling sad and affected by 2NE1 songs, collective diao-ing of individuals- it was good to meet up with them again. Did more laughing than reading in the four hours there. :D
24 August, Wednesday. 2212 lecture, then an illuminating 3101 tutorial. Did a bit of readings before training, which was a little torturous, because it hurt simply to run. Haha. Went to visit SY with Em the next day. It was funny, laughing and spazzing like old times. Got new boots at Queensway, before heading to Vivo to resolve Em's fashion headaches HAHA. Friday was a packed day. Watched 'Exit Through the Gift Shop' during 2210 lecture, which was an intriguing look at the relationship between street art, consumerism, and the manufacturing of culture. 1201 lecture, then match at RP. And then, the next day, training at 7am in the MPSH. Free time, before match-watching and team-bonding games. Match against SAS at SP to cap off the day. Sunday was hours of utter relaxation, the best kind of day. 29 August, Monday: studied a little with QH before 2101 lecture. Then, game against Arion. Ah, tis but a dull ache that gnaws at your consciousness, refusing to let go. The next day was Hari Raya, which was another day of relaxation. Started on The Hour, which is a fine specimen of television brilliance. The characters are all quite well-written, with little nuances that chip away their easy-to-assume-perfect appearances. The relationship dynamics are finely-tuned as well. BEL-FREDDIE SHIPPER AND UNABASHED OF IT. They are so endearing and unassuming with each other. It is hard to find somebody with whom you can be vulnerable and insecure with. The noir vibe was very nicely complemented with the gorgeous settings and camerawork as well. Visual and aural feast, basically. Cannot wait for the next season!
31 August, Wednesday. 2212, then 2210 tutorial. A short training after. Self-confidence was never my strong suit, but ah. It is something that I have to do. The next day is another free day, whooo. Slacked at home, finished up on The Hour, before heading to school for a game against the combined hall team. Bruises and scratches, but I wouldn't mind more if it meant not forgetting the hunger and drive for the ball. Or be able to replicate the desire next time. Sometimes, the pressure crushes me, which leads me to crush myself. What coach said was right. During a game, it is you versus you versus you versus you, and finally, versus the opponent. Need to get mentally stronger!! Friday was then a day of project-ing and relaxation. Yesterday was morning training, 'HTHT'-ing with Em, Jess, and YTing while waiting, followed by a six-hour-long lunch of listening to and talking about anything and everything. It was funny, especially the first part, where every bit of a conversation made us cackle vigorously with laughter. Especially Lim-xiong and Ku-xiong. And nice to get to know the others better. :D And then, today. Running Man and The Office and chatting online. How decadent. Heh.
Generally, school has been enjoyable. Sociology never fails to be interesting and engaging, because you start to reflect upon the realities that you have been exposed to so far. 2210 is shaping up to be my favourite thus far. Watching Charlie Brooker is a listed assignment, for fuck's sake!! Nothing like a chilly blast of snarky cynicism to make you feel better about disliking the world at times. But it does grow tiring to be sceptical. Dwight MacDonald's reading enraged me, with its constant devaluation of mass culture and about how it is the 'vulgarised' form of high culture. Should high culture be something that is idealised and emulated? I have my doubts. (Cue the debates about culture-vs-art, definitions about art, what is art?) Yes, mass culture may be produced with predictable formulas and certain expectations, but it does not subtract any value from it. The reactions of the audiences are also an important factor to consider. We are not merely drones, anticipating the consumption of 'predigested' entertainment. Human beings are capable of synthesizing their own interpretations from it; they are discerning of problematic areas: they have the ability to criticize, re-evaluate, and remediate the cultural products. I love TV, but that does not necessarily equate to my being blind to certain undesirable messages prevalent in some shows. The advent of the Internet has also meant the segmenting of audiences into niches. It is harder to 'dupe' people nowadays. Right? But I do agree with his point of 'infantilized adults'. Could that be an attempt at false consciousness, numbing to the rigour of working life? Da-durmmmmm! The convoluted helices will never stop untangling.
3101 has been eye-opening as well. Before, I didn't stop to consider the bias inherent in the sociological texts we have been reading. How we have all been shaped by something we failed to discover. There in lies the conundrum, and the greatest frustration induced by this subject: where does the buck stop? (Does it even need to stop? Does it need to stop for us to consider its relevance and significance to society?) There are larger, and hidden, mechanisms that have conditioned us to act in certain ways. And even then, these mechanisms have been influenced by socio-historical contexts. Chicken-and-egg, the QWERTY phenomenon? Maybe I haven't been doing concise enough an evaluation of the syllabus. SO MANY THINGS TO LEARN AND TO KNOW. And the more I know, the more I know what I don't know. This is even before how much I don't know I don't know. The human existence is a condition punctuated with an endless stream of doubts and insecurities. Even if I learn, everything is subjective; there is no objective reality. GAH. I think I mixed up way too many concepts. How disgraceful. :/
Just yesterday, Jess asked a few interesting questions: "what is your greatest fear/strength/weakness?" I hadn't thought of that before, and it was telling, considering how long I took to answer. Even then, I wonder how accurate those answers were. I haven't masticated any solid thoughts recently, preferring to partake in a mushy diet of socialising and television (hokay, so maybe Adorno was painfully right.) How does one begin to elude shades of one's 'true' self? Is there a 'true' self to be known anyway? The first thing I know about myself is that I'm a roiling stew of contradictions and flitting fancies. To be certain about anything is an ordeal for me. Because I fear regret and rejection, I enthuse about things and am rendered unable to say anything that is definite or would ground me to a certain position? Plausible.. But isn't that is how it is? Everybody has a whole variety of sides, that are pulled out at specific moments, in front of specific people. It was illuminating to hear answers from the rest, to figure out how other people feel about things. Even then, perhaps we were all a bit guarded. It was good fun, anyway. Superfast slowpokes, cold hotdogs and such hahaha.
Okay, enough time spent here and not reading. Goodbye. Awkward ending to the post is awkward.
So continuing my banal narration of days... 22 August, Monday. Met Trudy for lunch at UTown. Good to see her and catch up after so long. Of Poongho, Resonance, and complaints about Economics haha. 2101 lecture after, and then, training, where we did ten sets of Uncle Sam's fearsome circuits. Went crazy from sheer exhaustion, with fistbumps, titanics, and 'drunken' antics haha. My thigh muscles refused to acknowledge my existence for the next few days. It was a torment walking around on Tuesday, and not to mention, climbing up and down the numerous staircases around Arts. :O What was more, it was a full tutorial day. 2101, then 2212 where the tutor gave us time to go 'deviant'ing. Pulled a dustbin to the middle of Deck, sat in a circle, and appeared to worship it. In other words, attracted much attention and embarrassment from others and ex-friends hahaha. Met Melins at UTown afterwards, to 'study'. The Commons Room was such a conducive area for discreet chilling haha. Went to celebrate Hubae's birthday at the grasspatch beside Starbucks later. Marcus came after his lecture with his hair cut like a plate hAHA, and the three of us went for Tembusu dinner. Their dining hall had a Hogwartian atmosphere, how fun! Jeff came after, and the four of us went to the Commons Room to 'study' once again. It was so funnyyyyy. What with impromptu and (not) well-received lectures on money-creation/philosophy of math, abstract drawings on the board, reading aloud in different languages, BIBIMBAP!, feeling sad and affected by 2NE1 songs, collective diao-ing of individuals- it was good to meet up with them again. Did more laughing than reading in the four hours there. :D
24 August, Wednesday. 2212 lecture, then an illuminating 3101 tutorial. Did a bit of readings before training, which was a little torturous, because it hurt simply to run. Haha. Went to visit SY with Em the next day. It was funny, laughing and spazzing like old times. Got new boots at Queensway, before heading to Vivo to resolve Em's fashion headaches HAHA. Friday was a packed day. Watched 'Exit Through the Gift Shop' during 2210 lecture, which was an intriguing look at the relationship between street art, consumerism, and the manufacturing of culture. 1201 lecture, then match at RP. And then, the next day, training at 7am in the MPSH. Free time, before match-watching and team-bonding games. Match against SAS at SP to cap off the day. Sunday was hours of utter relaxation, the best kind of day. 29 August, Monday: studied a little with QH before 2101 lecture. Then, game against Arion. Ah, tis but a dull ache that gnaws at your consciousness, refusing to let go. The next day was Hari Raya, which was another day of relaxation. Started on The Hour, which is a fine specimen of television brilliance. The characters are all quite well-written, with little nuances that chip away their easy-to-assume-perfect appearances. The relationship dynamics are finely-tuned as well. BEL-FREDDIE SHIPPER AND UNABASHED OF IT. They are so endearing and unassuming with each other. It is hard to find somebody with whom you can be vulnerable and insecure with. The noir vibe was very nicely complemented with the gorgeous settings and camerawork as well. Visual and aural feast, basically. Cannot wait for the next season!
31 August, Wednesday. 2212, then 2210 tutorial. A short training after. Self-confidence was never my strong suit, but ah. It is something that I have to do. The next day is another free day, whooo. Slacked at home, finished up on The Hour, before heading to school for a game against the combined hall team. Bruises and scratches, but I wouldn't mind more if it meant not forgetting the hunger and drive for the ball. Or be able to replicate the desire next time. Sometimes, the pressure crushes me, which leads me to crush myself. What coach said was right. During a game, it is you versus you versus you versus you, and finally, versus the opponent. Need to get mentally stronger!! Friday was then a day of project-ing and relaxation. Yesterday was morning training, 'HTHT'-ing with Em, Jess, and YTing while waiting, followed by a six-hour-long lunch of listening to and talking about anything and everything. It was funny, especially the first part, where every bit of a conversation made us cackle vigorously with laughter. Especially Lim-xiong and Ku-xiong. And nice to get to know the others better. :D And then, today. Running Man and The Office and chatting online. How decadent. Heh.
Generally, school has been enjoyable. Sociology never fails to be interesting and engaging, because you start to reflect upon the realities that you have been exposed to so far. 2210 is shaping up to be my favourite thus far. Watching Charlie Brooker is a listed assignment, for fuck's sake!! Nothing like a chilly blast of snarky cynicism to make you feel better about disliking the world at times. But it does grow tiring to be sceptical. Dwight MacDonald's reading enraged me, with its constant devaluation of mass culture and about how it is the 'vulgarised' form of high culture. Should high culture be something that is idealised and emulated? I have my doubts. (Cue the debates about culture-vs-art, definitions about art, what is art?) Yes, mass culture may be produced with predictable formulas and certain expectations, but it does not subtract any value from it. The reactions of the audiences are also an important factor to consider. We are not merely drones, anticipating the consumption of 'predigested' entertainment. Human beings are capable of synthesizing their own interpretations from it; they are discerning of problematic areas: they have the ability to criticize, re-evaluate, and remediate the cultural products. I love TV, but that does not necessarily equate to my being blind to certain undesirable messages prevalent in some shows. The advent of the Internet has also meant the segmenting of audiences into niches. It is harder to 'dupe' people nowadays. Right? But I do agree with his point of 'infantilized adults'. Could that be an attempt at false consciousness, numbing to the rigour of working life? Da-durmmmmm! The convoluted helices will never stop untangling.
3101 has been eye-opening as well. Before, I didn't stop to consider the bias inherent in the sociological texts we have been reading. How we have all been shaped by something we failed to discover. There in lies the conundrum, and the greatest frustration induced by this subject: where does the buck stop? (Does it even need to stop? Does it need to stop for us to consider its relevance and significance to society?) There are larger, and hidden, mechanisms that have conditioned us to act in certain ways. And even then, these mechanisms have been influenced by socio-historical contexts. Chicken-and-egg, the QWERTY phenomenon? Maybe I haven't been doing concise enough an evaluation of the syllabus. SO MANY THINGS TO LEARN AND TO KNOW. And the more I know, the more I know what I don't know. This is even before how much I don't know I don't know. The human existence is a condition punctuated with an endless stream of doubts and insecurities. Even if I learn, everything is subjective; there is no objective reality. GAH. I think I mixed up way too many concepts. How disgraceful. :/
Just yesterday, Jess asked a few interesting questions: "what is your greatest fear/strength/weakness?" I hadn't thought of that before, and it was telling, considering how long I took to answer. Even then, I wonder how accurate those answers were. I haven't masticated any solid thoughts recently, preferring to partake in a mushy diet of socialising and television (hokay, so maybe Adorno was painfully right.) How does one begin to elude shades of one's 'true' self? Is there a 'true' self to be known anyway? The first thing I know about myself is that I'm a roiling stew of contradictions and flitting fancies. To be certain about anything is an ordeal for me. Because I fear regret and rejection, I enthuse about things and am rendered unable to say anything that is definite or would ground me to a certain position? Plausible.. But isn't that is how it is? Everybody has a whole variety of sides, that are pulled out at specific moments, in front of specific people. It was illuminating to hear answers from the rest, to figure out how other people feel about things. Even then, perhaps we were all a bit guarded. It was good fun, anyway. Superfast slowpokes, cold hotdogs and such hahaha.
Okay, enough time spent here and not reading. Goodbye. Awkward ending to the post is awkward.
