The Pursuit of Capital Letters

It is nearly four in the morning and I am supposed to be slogging away at PS essay. Instead, I spent three hours watching 2ne1tv and another hour looking up Lee Hyuk Soo images on tumblr. I sure know how to waste my time. But oh goodness, 2ne1's It Hurts MV was something that I have not quite seen before. Judging from the comments on omtd, many people hated it, or disliked how the MV concept did not seem to fit the jazzy ballad song. But I thought the two melded perfectly. Melancholic, desolate and haunting, isn't that what lost love, or love that faded and flickered away, feels like? I loved how everything in the MV was exquisite and lustrous. From the lush outfits, to the quietly dramatic make-up, to the striking hair-colours and hair-styles, to the gothic decor of the cobwebbed attic, to the dreary dying yard. There was a Tim Burton-esque feel that made it feel so listless and poignant. Okay, I'm gushing a little too much here. Hahaha, time for a picture spam!


( you're not mine anymore )

Okay, better catch some sleep before starting on the essayyyyy. Bah.

"The Disneyland imaginary is neither true or false; it is a deterrence machine set up in order to rejuvenate in reverse the fiction of the real. Whence the debility, the infantile degeneration of this imaginary. It is meant to be an infantile world, in order to make us believe that the adults are elsewhere, in the ‘real’ world, and to conceal the fact that real childishness is everywhere, particularly amongst those adults who go there to act the child in order to foster illusions as to their real childishness." - Jean Baudrillard, Simulacra and Simulations

The more things I learn in university, the more everything seems to be a conspiracy theory of some sort. Everything means something, nothing is anything, and some things can be everything. It is a befuddled agglutination of undigested glutinous theories in my head. Political scandals aren't just political scandals; the collective outrage can be construed as the beliefs in a general morality in bureaucratic superstructure, which can be seen as ideology dissemination by the bourgeoisie to retain hegemony. And I'm mashing long random words to achieve a sense of intellectual legitimacy, which is founded upon the education system I have undergone, which leans towards a preference for the verbose, which can be traced back to 19th century British colonialism, so on and so forth hahaha. Just today, after watching The Town, I found myself spouting something along the lines of not loving it because it espoused too many moral lessons towards the end, of how you can only live up to your sins and not run away from them, which served to perpetuate the necessity for law and regulations and people' obligation to follow them. A pretentious, trash-talking charlatan? Maybe. Simulacrum that masks the absence of introspection? Hahahaha, bad Baudrillard pun. My goodness, what have I become? Okay, not anguished; on the contrary, I am quite incredulous about how blind I had been. Not that I'm any better now, but at least I'm willing to think more about things, force my brains juicers to whir and dice concepts together as best as I can, even if the products tend to come out bland and mildewed. That has to count for something right? I hope. This is my degree on the line, I can't remain where I was before. Finally, a 30 Rock gif to unwind. Check out Jon Hamm hahaha.