The Pursuit of Capital Letters

Yesterday night was supposed to be one where I could sleep triumphantly and placidly. Every paragraph felt like a Halloween carving of my pumpkin flesh, but hell, I managed to conjure up those two dreaded essays during the witching hours. The result? Peering longingly at the bed as a gentle drizzle settled over the city, hearing the routine broomstick rustling at 5am, scampering out to see daybreak and people trudging to the station with yet-unkempt hair, no longer surprising my mom when I stroll out nonchalantly at 7am, rolling and lolling around at 8am with bleary eyes and movement at 0.8x speed, zoning out and shutting down for entire blocks of time. All in a day's work. Yesterday was the heralded return to the sleeping throne, But life usually has other plans, and thus, I was kept up all night (again!) by a nagging toothache. I winked continuously, I squeezed out a few tears, I froze up, I assembled a permutation of contortions, but nope! The world of the living dead deemed me unfit for entry for a few hours. What else could I do? ( Do what I do best, of course )

Ok, that was a hazy brick of fractured thoughts. The main point is: I should not waste so much time. My parents are paying $7000 a year for a reason. That is to get good grades, get the degree, and use it as a paper-surfboard to ride the waves of time. Not everybody can be a cruise-ship taitai. I often forget that,- not the taitai part, no- as can be evidenced by my whining about needing to do essays. I should be ashamed; I am ashamed. PRIORITIES, I SHULD HAS THEM! Then again, easier said than done.

Sidenote: been skulking around youtube for awhile and stumbled upon some good finds. Neon Indian, Beach House, Geographer, Mostar Diving Club, Best Coast: hurray for notsotwee music! Maybe I have had certain songs for too long, but whenever Augustana comes on, I feel like punching a passerby in the face. Or maybe, it is hidden rage at world, FFUUUUUU!!! Hehe, been browsing too much comixed/artoftrolling/memebase of late. = WASTING TIME. FFUUUUUU!!! I am my own greatest troll.

So I started on a new show: Parks & Recreation, and it is HILARIOUS. The first season was average. Maybe it was because there were only six episodes, and it was a show where the characters, their quirks and their interactions slowly grew on you. By the second season, I was hooked. I cracked my ribs laughing at the scenes where Ron Swanson, with his furrowed brows and the Mustache, always stole. I loved the eternal optimism and determination that Leslie Knope possesses, despite the crazy townies and slacker-colleagues. Tom Haverford's has such a grating, but weirdly endearing, personality. It feels like self satire whenever I see April Ludgate's deadpan stares to the camera. Andy is a big fluffy teddybear. Ben Wyatt-Leslie Knope is my new otp. Oh, I could go on naming the rest of the characters. But the character who really made me love this show was... RON SWANSON. With his hefty built, crisp and mocking one-liners, hatred for intimacy and affection, he is a perfect contrasting foil to Leslie's genuine passion and boundless enthusiasm. And you gotta love that he really doesn't give two shits about anything, other than bureaucracy, breakfast food, and his two ex-wives, both named Tammy, whom he detests with vitriolic venom.




And school? School is on the back-burner, what else is new?

Recess week began last Wednesday evening for me, but to date, I have only gone through four readings. My ability to do nothing continues to amaze me. In essence, it has been a wonderful week, curling up at home, with my trusty (and crusty hurrhurr) laptop and the skies grey and notsoblue. I could do well as recluse, or a hikikomori. The last time I stepped out of my house was on... Monday afternoon? Hahaha, but how could I leave when Sungkyungkwan Scandal, with its panoramic cinematography, stirring music and I save the best for last- JALGEUM QUARTET-, was waiting for me online. Even though there were streaming difficulties, ie forever side-eyeing Dailymotion and its instability, it was a wonderful twenty-odd hours agonising over, cheering for, and giggling at the trials and tribulations of four teenagers in the Joseon era. Add the classic cross-dresser in an all-male boarding school, three (THREE!) cute/adorable/swoon-worthy male leads to the mix, and you got a potent potion, enough to knock any cynical and world-weary fangirl off her feet clad in winged Jeremy Scott sneakers. It was a good drama, though an even better one when one is supplemented with the forward button. Every time scheming!parents or bumbling!officials appeared onscreen, one knew that Shit was embarking on a serpentine path to meet Fan, so the impatient one could conveniently fast-forward to see implosion of fecal matter in all its speckled glory. What made the series stand out were the characters and their growth throughout the series. Because I am on the run from readings, and because facebook has long ceased to be interesting, I shall indulge myself in a pointless prattle about Sungkyunkwan Scandal. Yay. Oh, I am so exhausted by the exciting happenings in my life!


( my long essay that has no deadline. unlike the IR one on Monday.. )

Okay, time to start on some readings now! Why is 1500 words so easy to hit when you're not writing essays for school? Sometimes I wish that there was a Cultural Studies major that I could do. My mind is primed for commercialism, for masked frivolity (okay, maybe real), not for weighty issues like, do democracies contribute to peace? Then, I read Yoo Ah In's interview and I am inspired to work hard, because nothing comes easy. It is the struggle that is delectable, that makes one feel alive. Who doesn't want things to be relaxing? But would skating through life make me happy? Sigh. Nearing twenty, but still as clueless as ever. What I know, however, is that information/knowledge is powerful. The selectivity of revelation, the timing, the manipulation, the framing: all of it can make and shake events. That is what I'm highly interested in. But what would that make me? Hmmm... listening to "Kiss and Tell" by The Black Skirts isn't really helping, because I feel like bopping my head and dancing around. And that... is exactly what I will do now. Bye!